Robert Schmidt Quotes

Here are some funny quotes and one-liners by Robert Schmidt.

"I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. So I looked closer. It was made of grass."

"My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year."

"I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger."

"I had amnesia once or twice."

"I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar."

"I liked "Slaughterhouse 5", but I can't find the first four anywhere."