Funny George Carlin Quotes

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?